Dear Colette

Dear Colette, 

I'm not sure how to put this so I'm just going to say it, it's not going to work out between us. I love your Great Divide family, Hoss and Samurai are great friends and you know Titan is my brother from another mother (Bridget really is a saint).

I was so looking forward to our relationship, I spent months anticipating it. Then when I saw you, and this isn't flattering, I nearly wet myself in excitement like Jim in front of Nadia in American Pie. I love the Saison style and your family is one of my favorites, I thought for sure we were meant to be lifetime lovers.

I feel like I was duped, like you had stuffed your bra or something. When we got down to business and the lights were out I never would have guessed you were a beautiful Belgian Saison, I would have guessed you were a filthy German Hefeweizen. Mind you, I don't mind that you were a little filthy, that has its place, but it wasn't what I was looking for in a lifetime saison companion.

It's trendy to say it's not you, it's me. But that's not true in this case, it is you. You're lying to yourself calling yourself a saison, you're much too lemony for that. It's okay to be a Hefeweizen, some people really like that. I'm going to keep your number and give you a call when I'm in the mood for your filthy side, we really did have a good time. But, I don't think I'll ever be able to commit to you, I'm going to have to keep looking for my everyday saison.

All the best,


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