Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Dear Colette

Dear Colette, 

I'm not sure how to put this so I'm just going to say it, it's not going to work out between us. I love your Great Divide family, Hoss and Samurai are great friends and you know Titan is my brother from another mother (Bridget really is a saint).

I was so looking forward to our relationship, I spent months anticipating it. Then when I saw you, and this isn't flattering, I nearly wet myself in excitement like Jim in front of Nadia in American Pie. I love the Saison style and your family is one of my favorites, I thought for sure we were meant to be lifetime lovers.

I feel like I was duped, like you had stuffed your bra or something. When we got down to business and the lights were out I never would have guessed you were a beautiful Belgian Saison, I would have guessed you were a filthy German Hefeweizen. Mind you, I don't mind that you were a little filthy, that has its place, but it wasn't what I was looking for in a lifetime saison companion.

It's trendy to say it's not you, it's me. But that's not true in this case, it is you. You're lying to yourself calling yourself a saison, you're much too lemony for that. It's okay to be a Hefeweizen, some people really like that. I'm going to keep your number and give you a call when I'm in the mood for your filthy side, we really did have a good time. But, I don't think I'll ever be able to commit to you, I'm going to have to keep looking for my everyday saison.

All the best,



  1. Aside from the breakup letter conceit, this is the same as my review of the beer. Not a saison - totally a hefe.

  2. I just found your review on BA and agree, obviously. But, if this was labeled a hefe, I'm still not sure it was very good. I'm being a bit hypocritical on this because I don't like getting caught up on styles and labels. I just really like saisons and Colette wasn't much of a saison.

  3. Heh, I just read my own review and it looks like I was not harsh enough on it. I usually rate to style pretty strictly. Perhaps I was being lenient because Great Divide's head brewer gave it to me for free. I think I'm going to adjust some scores now.

  4. Filthy German girl? Say no more, I'm in love

  5. Damn you Great Divide! I will forgive you though....because Titan is ridiculously good.