Monday, June 2, 2008

Smokin' a Double Chocolate Porter Stout

It's that time again, live blogging a drinking session with Wes and Bull. The scene is taking place at pint night at The Flying Saucer in the Power and Light District.

Wes: So, I get home from my afternoon adventure at Willie's, and just as I lay down for a nap, Bull E. Vard rings my cell. He tells me that he "needs to drink a Chocolate Stout at the Flying Saucer," and coerces me (with only that phrase) to meet him there. Ah, there is truly nothing like summer break!

I walk back over to the Power and Light and am pleased to taste Bull's half-drunk, O'Fallon's Smoked Porter (it's my favorite Sunday "local" beer special). I sample his and then go ahead and order my second favorite, the Double Chocolate Stout, since it too, is on special. Every Monday the bar offers up their famous list of $2.75 select pints... Yes. Life is good.

Bull
: We just discussed the wording of Wes' sentence, Bull's half-drunk, O'Fallon's Smoked Porter, and the way he wrote it seems phallic in some way. I'm not sure why. Anyway, I just had the O'Fallon Smoked Porter which was just okay. Now I'm drinking a New Belgium Le Fleur Misseur which means lips of faith (sounds virginal, no). So, in one paragraph I have mixed a phallic reference with a vaginal reference, now that's a f*****g paragraph!

Wes: I guess it's my turn to write. Bull brought his laptop to the Saucer and we're taking turns composing as we drink, discussing the meaning of life, and making random calls on the cell phones. No, not drunk-dials. Give us some credit--we've got a higher beer tolerance than that.

I'm a little sad to see that Bull is slipping off the Saucer's Top Ten List. It seems now, that SOMEONE (and you know who you are), is weaseling him out of his beer-drinking-right to a spot in the lime light. And by that I do NOT mean a spot in the Bud Light Lime light. So, please, slow down your damn drinking and let my pal Bull back in the game.

Bull: It takes a certain kind of dedication to come here every single day and have 3 beers. That is hard work and I can't do it, especially since some of these beers have a pretty high alcohol content. It's all I can do to drink 3 beers a couple of days a week. Yet, 3 guys have done it, kudos to them.

On another subject, my favorite waitress doesn't typically work on Mondays but this one we have this evening, Keara, is a nice substitute. She's sassy, fun, attentive and just nice all around even though she seems like she just got done smoking a blunt. There is only one or two bad waitresses in this place, so you really can't go wrong. I just wish they sold single pretzels like Harry's Country Club, I could really go for a pretzel right now.

Wes: And I could really go for a brat, or some kind of schnitzel. A pretzel would be nice too, but a nice hot dog would do me well. Nope. Nothing like a beer and a wiener after a long stressful day's work. I guess I didn't really have a day of stressful work, but oh well. I'll still go ahead and take that dog...

WHY are there no more than 11 (yes, I counted) people in the Saucer on Pint Night?! I feel like I need to put on a rubber beer bottle outfit and go flag people down on the street corner, kind of like they do at Liberty Income Tax during tax season. Only they wear rubber Statue of Liberty outfits, and not rubber beer bottles.

Bull: I, for one, am wearing a different kind of rubber. Much like Pee Wee in Porky's, I keep one on at all times just in case it is needed. ...*This portion was removed because it was just too incredibly dirty, if you're interested in what was here, email me and I will send it to you. And some people wonder why we don't do podcasts.

Wes: Ok. Bull has officially crossed the line. The beers must be kicking in now. I'm sure there are children who read this blog, and for that...."I'm sorry, kids!" Just close your eyes and tell mommy (or daddy) to close this window. "LOOK AWAY, NOW!" Bull -- we'll have none of that. This is a FAMILY BLOG and we need to make sure that we don't talk about ...*once again, we had to remove this because it referred to a despicable act that should only take place in Chimpotle's presence.

Bull: Whatever! I guess we should wrap up this little shindig as I can't possibly keep it clean any longer. I guess the line gets crossed one beer after drinking from lips of faith (is anyone else thinking of nuns now?)

2 comments:

  1. Keara is almost as awesome as the warm feeling you get when the rubber gets full and splish-splashes off.

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  2. I was one of those 10-15 people enjoying pint night at around 10:30. It was wonderful.

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