Monday, May 5, 2008
Posted by Bull E. Vard
Alright, I must warn you, I have had a beer or two before typing this one out. I got over to the Flying Saucer in the Power and Light district at 13th and Wyandotte right before it was to open for the first time. I joined about 12 single guys in line, ok not really a line, more like an open source queue. The wait was about 3 minutes before the doors opened. I hadn't been this excited for an opening since Wrigley opened the gate for the bleacher seats last time we were there.
I sat down at a booth, being the first ever to sit in a booth at a KC Flying Saucer (all the other dudes went to sit at the bar). The booths were a much more attractive option since they were by the open garage door style windows. I ordered a Bell's Oberon to start things off. At the Flying Saucer the seasonal type beers are listed on the menu as Bell's Rotator or Boulevard Rotator or, well you get the idea. Luckily for me, Monday is Pint Night which means that all marked pints are only $2.75. In the case of Bell's and other breweries this is quite the markdown because they are regularly $4.75 or $5.00.
I must say my waitress, Michelle was the greatest. Her little German outfit really flattered her, plus she was nice to the weird dude with menus, phones and other electronic equipment strewn across the table. I was still waiting for Wes, Black & Tan, Buttery Nipple and Abbey Ale to show up. So I was in a booth all by my lonesome. I ordered some dinner, a French dip.
When Michelle brought my sandwich, I was a little disappointed in its size, kind of like how any date of The D's is disappointed by the size (but then again, dudes tend to be picky). But, it was quite tasty and the Guinness au jus was really quite tasty. The fries were wonderful. I was full by the time I finished the sandwich, which I didn't really think would happen (much like The D's dates).
I ordered another beer, something English called the Hobgoblin. It was a pretty good beer, nothing I would go out of my way for, but very nice and had a distinct taste to it that American pale ales don't have. Finally Buttery Nipple and Abbey Ale showed up. I was beginning to think Michelle was thinking I was a really weird guy who likes sitting in a booth by himself.
Buttery Nipple scanned the menu for something of the wheat varietel. Luckily for Nipple, the Flying Saucer menu has beers sorted by varietel so you can pick a beer by what you like. Abbey Ale really disappointed me by picking Peroni to drink. Not that there is anything wrong with Peroni, but when confronted with a bitchin' beer menu you shouldn't select Peroni.
Apparently while I was taking a couple of days off last week there was quite the party. A party so wild that Abbey Ale maintains that anal sex isn't sex (she's single dudes), a position that Bill Clinton would be proud of. You have to love girls with a Wichita State education.
After the Peroni incident (which incidentally, Abbey Ale didn't like and Michelle took it back, no charge), I was put in charge of picking out beers for Abbey Ale. I hooked her up with the Bell's Oberon first. When she finished that we asked for a sample of some Breckenridge Avalanche. The Flying Saucer is great because they will take back a bad beer, the Peroni, and let you have a one ounce sample of whatever beer you would like to try. So Abbey tried the Breck and thought it was a little watery (I don't know what she smokes while she's at work, but it ruins her taste buds). I then had her try an Abita Turbodog. She loved that and got a full size one.
In the meantime I had ordered myself a Rogue Dead Guy Ale. Again, with the $2.75 Pint Night special, quite the bargain. It was a really nice night outside, the weather was great. We watched a dude, a little high on Cinco de Mayo, puke outside of his taxicab. It was quite the site. The service at The Flying Saucer was so great that they took pitchers of water out to the street to wash the puke out of site of diners and guests.
Abbey Ale's boss came by, another Wichita State grad, and talk centered around single chicks trying to find dudes. While Buttery Nipple is technically a dude, he is somewhat qualified to speak for women. This kind of left me with no insight left to give. Abbey Ale was going out with her slutty friends this week to learn to flirt, apparently she gets nervous around dudes. Buttery Nipple questioned why she never seems nervous around him and, long story short, she thought he was really a chick, therefore no nervousness.
I finally had to leave and get home to the family. I can't stress enough how great of a waitress Michelle was. She wasn't even judgmental when I said I need a XXL t-shirt when I joined the Beerknurd club. Seriously, you all need to go to the Flying Saucer, it is surprisingly affordable in the most unaffordable part of town and it is friggin' fabulous.